When we think about what it takes to be a good foster parent, we often focus on patience, resilience, advocacy, or strength. But there’s one ingredient that’s often left out—and in my experience, it’s the one that holds everything else together: Self-compassion. Not in a soft, fluffy, bubble-bath kind of way. In a gritty, day-saving, […]

If you’re a foster or adoptive mom—or someone supporting these families—you’ve probably heard some version of this: “You’re doing amazing just surviving.” And while that’s often true and well-meaning, there’s something underneath that message that can start to feel a little suffocating. Because surviving isn’t the goal. It’s the baseline. Somewhere along the way, many […]

If you’re a foster parent who has ever found yourself in the waiting period before a judge’s decision on Termination of Parental Rights (TPR), you know what a uniquely difficult season it can be. The emotional intensity of this time is something that very few people talk about, but it deserves a spotlight—because it matters. […]

When you’re parenting through trauma, the words you say matter. I learned that the hard way. In my early days of fostering, I found myself overwhelmed—not just by the logistics or the behaviors, but by the moments I had no words for. A meltdown. A silence that screamed. A goodbye I wasn’t ready for. I’d […]

The first 30 days of fostering are an emotional, beautiful, and often overwhelming blur. There’s paperwork, appointments, big feelings, and small wins that no one else sees. When I think back to the beginning of our fostering journey, I remember being simultaneously filled with conviction and completely undone by the weight of it all. If […]

When you begin your foster care journey, you prepare for a lot of things. You prepare your home.You prepare your heart.You prepare for trauma, transitions, and the unknown.But almost no one prepares you for one of the most sacred, painful, complex, and often overlooked relationships in foster care: The relationship between you and your child’s […]

If you’ve ever stood face-to-face with a child in full-blown meltdown mode—screaming, hitting, crying, or shutting down—you know the pressure.Your heart races. Your brain scrambles for the “right” response.And suddenly, you’re the one feeling completely dysregulated. This is one of the hardest truths about parenting—especially in foster care:You can’t support a dysregulated child unless you […]

When I first started parenting kids from hard places, I thought I was prepared.I had read the books.I had attended the trainings.I had even practiced my calm voice in the mirror (true story). But nothing fully prepared me for the moment I was in the middle of a screaming match with a 6-year-old who had […]

If you’re a foster or adoptive mom, there’s a good chance you’ve felt it. That deep, nagging guilt that whispers:You’re not doing enough. You should have handled that better. You shouldn’t feel this way. They deserve more than you can give. I call it the guilt spiral—and it’s a space so many of us end […]