You’re reading this because something resonated. Maybe it was the title. Maybe it was the quiet, persistent ache in your chest that won’t go away no matter how many times you tell yourself you’re fine. Foster mama, I see you. I see you carrying the weight of a system that wasn’t designed with you in […]

I need you to hear something today. Something that might feel uncomfortable at first. Something that might even make you want to argue with me. Here it is: You are not responsible for regulating every nervous system in your home. Let that sink in for a second. If you’re a foster mama, you’ve probably been […]

Foster mama, can I be honest with you? I see you. I see the way you hold it together during the home visit, smile through the caseworker’s questions, and nod like everything’s fine – even when it’s not. I see you driving home from court with shaking hands, replaying every word, wondering if you said […]

It’s 2 a.m. The house is finally quiet. Everyone’s asleep. You should be asleep. But instead, you’re lying in the dark, replaying that moment from earlier today. Or yesterday. Or last week. Or maybe even months ago. The thing you said during the meltdown. The way your voice got sharp when you were already running […]

No one told me that foster care would require me to hold space for people I’d never met – people whose choices I didn’t understand, whose lives looked nothing like mine, and whose connection to my child would always run deeper than biology alone could explain. If you’re reading this, you probably already know what […]

I remember sitting in the foster parent training before our first placement, imagining the story ahead of us. I had a version of it in my head — hazy around the details, but clear in shape. A child would come. We would love them fiercely. There would be hard moments, sure, but we’d rise to […]

Becoming a foster parent had crossed my mind more times than I could count. But every time it did, I found a reason to push it off. Not now. Maybe later. When things settle down. For years, I lived in that space between feeling called and actually saying yes. And if I’m being honest, I […]

There’s a question nobody asks foster parents out loud, but we all feel it hanging in the air. Are you going to quit? People watch us. They watch for the cracks. They watch for the moment we throw our hands up and say we’re done. And honestly? I understand why they watch. Foster care is […]

There are moments in foster care that no training prepares you for. The phone call from your caseworker. The quiet conversation at the kitchen table. The look on a child’s face when they learn that someone they love—someone from their first family—is gone. A foster mom in my community recently reached out to me with […]